Detention With a Bang
by CharryWotter
Summary: Ron and Harry have a detention with Snape, but plan to drive him crazy with a mysterious invention from Fred and George...What could go wrong? Fluffy ! Very fluffy ! It's a parody explaining The Mysterious Ticking Noise (Which isn't mine :()Twist at the end, so make sure to keep reading! I don't own anything.


So, the plot is pretty much a way to explain Potter Puppet Pals in the Mysterious Ticking Noise.

It's nothing much, and doesn't make lots of sense, but I had to write it all the same!

When the characters start shouting, just imagine the song!

I don't own anything, sadly.

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"Oh no, Harry! Ron!" Hermione smacked her hand on the table. "What have you done this time?"

Ron and Harry, sniggering, took their places at the Gryffindor table next to her. Harry, seeing Hermione's face, quickly put up an innocent face.

"Whatever are you talking about?" Ron inquired, going along with Harry.

But Hermione wasn't going to have it. "Ronald Weasley, do you need me to get Percy? Do you? Do you? You shouldn't mind since, _you have obviously done nothing._ Percy! PERC—"

"Whoah, Hermione, it's not that big of a deal," Harry began, dropping the act. "Just a little something we planted in Snape's office…"

Checking the time, Ron grinned. "And it'll go off in about an hour, too."

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Meanwhile, in Snape's office…

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

It was driving him mad.

"What IS that mysterious ticking noise?" He inquired, trying to find the source of the sound. _I'll bet my wand it was Potter and Weasley. They were looking way too confident in class today._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

Snape rushed around, getting angrier each second. "Not over here, not over there…"

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Back at the Great Hall…

"Ok, 'Mione, catch you later!" Harry says, slopping pumpkin juice down his front as he takes a final sip.

"Yeah, we have detention with Snape tonight!" Ron doubled up with laugher.

Hermione glares at the pair. "Why would you plant something in his office if you'll be there _when it goes off_?"

Harry starts. "Oh no, Ron! We didn't think that part through!" Seeing the look on Hermione's face, Harry breaks the façade. "Of course it will go off when we're there! Who else would film it?"

Before they can be told off more, Ron and Harry wisely run off towards Snape's office.

This was the one detention they wouldn't dare be late for.

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"Potter! Weasley! What have you done?" Snape's angry voice floods them as the two friends step into the cold dungeon. "Just so you know, I have contacted the headmaster! I do not tolerate irritating sounds!"

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

Ron and Harry share a relieved glance. So Snape doesn't know about their prank. He only knows about the noise.

"Mate," Ron starts to Harry, under his breath, "Let's keep ol' Snapey here off the scent. We can drive him nuts, so he won't suspect we're up to something! Quick, you know that scene we made up in the common room?"—At this Harry nods—"That's the one we should use! And if Snape really called Dumbledore, I'll warn you when he comes."

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

Harry nods his assent. Ron composes his acting face.

And before Snape (who hadn't heard a word Ron said) could assign them scrubbing cauldrons, Ron shouts out, "Do you know who we have detention with?"

Seemingly confused, Harry replies, "No clue—who is it with?"

"You may need to sit down for this," Ron says, completely serious. "It's our potions professor himself!"

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

Incredulously, Harry yells, "Snape?! Snape?! SEVERUS SNAPE?!"

Ron nods. Harry turns to Snape himself, who is so confused that he has lost his usual sneer in favor of a bewildered look.

"Snape?!" Harry asks the professor. "Snape?! SEVERUS SNAPE?!"

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

Snape can only manage to shake his head.

Harry turns back to Ron, and the same words are coming out of his mouth when Albus flooes in.

Right as Harry says, "SEVERUS SNAPE?!" Ron yells, "DUMBLEDORE!"

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Meanwhile, Hermione sits in the common room, but can't seem to focus on her Charms essay. "Honestly," she mutters. "It's my duty to keep them in line."

And she packs her books away, sighing.

Crookshanks watches his master walk down to the dungeons.

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Meanwhile, in Detention…

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

"Snape?!" Harry is still incredulously bellowing, unaware that the headmaster is in the room. Every time he reaches, "SEVERUS SNAPE?!" Ron can't help but bellow, "DUMBLEDORE!" in hopes to stop his friends.

The potions professor is now annoyed. "Harry Potter, Harry Potter, you…!" Snape has begun to yell angrily.

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

Everyone is so caught up with yelling that only Dumbledore notices the worried girl entering the potion's classroom. "Hermione," he says warmly over shouts of "SEVERUS SNAPE?!" "DUMBLEDORE!" and "HARRY POTTER, HARRY POTTER, YOU…!"

Hermione, in her haste to keep her friends from trouble, yells, "RON! RON! RON WEASLEY!" in the hope that he will notice how foolish he is being.

However, her shouts go unnoticed by everyone else, buried in their own words.

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

Eventually Hermione, Ron, and Dumbledore come to their senses until only Harry and his hated professor are yelling.

Harry's voice is accusing; Snape's is angry.

"SNAPE?!"

"HARRY!"

"SNAPE?!"

"HARRY!"

"SNAPE?!"

"HARRY!"

Unable to bear the shouting, Ron turns to the headmaster in hopes that he can do something. "DUMBLEDORE!" He shouts.

But the headmaster is still caught up in wanting a greeting from Hermione. "Hermione," he says gently.

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Soon everyone is shouting at unison, save for Dumbledore, who _hasn't gotten that important greeting._

In the midst of all the sound, Ron and Harry forget the true reason for Harry's yelling that started the whole thing: the bomb. Of course, it wasn't a real bomb, but a prank bomb that Fred and George had insisted they try out.

Only one thing was certain: no one really know what it did.

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _Tick, tick, tick._

 _BOOM!_

And everyone stopped shouting.

A figure of mist grew up in the center of the room. Slowly, it hardened into one of the unlikeliest people in the wizarding world.

And Voldemort cackled, fingering his want and tapping it against the desk.

 _Tap, tap, tap._

And he started to sing: "Voldemort, Voldemort, ooh, Voldy, Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort!"

And Harry and Ron grinned. Until they were given detention for a month.

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"That was brilliant; you should've been there!" Ron exclaimed to the twins after describing the fiasco. "Unfortunately, we were too busy shouting and didn't get to record it. But it was awesome!"

Fred and George grin, but clearly something's bothering them. "That's odd," George muses after some thought.

"Yeah—"

"We gave it to—"

"Lee, too, but he said—"

"All it did was—"

"Make a loud sound."

"Much less—"

"Get the Voldy himself—"

"To sing and dance!"

Hermione thinks about it. "I don't know if Lee's malfunctioned, but if all the bomb did was make a noise—it's not like the Dark Lord would just appear. While apparating isn't possible, misting does work…" At Harry's horrified glance, she hurriedly adds, "But, think about it, Voldemort would never stoop that low! Don't worry."

Ron grins. "Yeah, even though it wasn't him, too bad we didn't film it. Great blackmail material…" He fades off.

"Blackmail material! Brilliant." Harry exclaims, mind racing. To the twins, he asks, "Could you make it look like someone else? I would love to get something on Malfoy!"

Soon they all are discussing ways the bomb could be put to their advantage.

But they could never suspect the reality.

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"Nagini, my pet," Voldemort hisses to his snake in Parseltongue. "I did rather smashingly today on my song, do you agree? I wonder if I could find a nightclub to perform at. I think Potter almost fainted, he was so blown away! And the look on the Weasley's face…Yes, do you think I was good?"

And Nagini hisses her agreement.

First gig. Check.

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THE END…

Just some plot bunnies I had to let out.

The idea is from Potter Puppet Pals; the story is mine; the characters are Rowling's

But Voldemort the singer ! I couldn't have it end any other way!

Please review! Reviews are almost as good as VOLDEMORT'S PERFORMANCE AT THE LEAKY CAULDRON!


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